A Lack of Faith??

Oh Goddess, I miss blogging!! I've been away for far too long and it's not because I didn't want to be (or my internet bill didn't get behind), I have been experiencing a HUGE struggle with my faith this past year. I think I can trace it back to about this time last year when I was depressed about not finding work. I just didn't feel like doing Sabbat rituals or workings. Then I found a job, but at the time didn't realize it was a bad choice for a job. I was working at a hair salon on straight commission, I thought if I did that it would force me to find a clientele. After 9 months working there and not making much money, I left and found a new job. But money was short, bills got left by the wayside as I struggled to get myself caught up. Because of this, my faith took a backseat. I tried to go to public rituals, feasts, but my heart wasn't in it, so I stopped going. I shut myself away from my local Pagan groups and from some Pagans who I really didn't want to associate myself with anymore. The stress of money problems, witch wars, etc, I cut myself off and focused on one thing that actually made me smile throughout all this.

When I woke up this morning, I realized that I needed to make a change in my life, my spiritual life. I'm going to practice my faith my way. Not with what books or fellow Pagans say how I should. I do things a little unconventional, not the norm and I don't add New Age things into my practice. I may not blog as much as I used to (let me get out of my funk first) but I do hope you read it when I do. I also posted today about a meditation I had last week on my Rowan's Deities page.

Big, Huge Apology

Ok, I just want to start off this with a huge apology for not blogging an the last few weeks. I'M SORRY!! I found a new job that has been keeping me busy & I've been exhausted when I get home. Also, if you already know, I'm a HUGE Robert Pattinson fan (Edward Cullen in the Twilight Saga) and I've been working on that blog, as well. I also started a local group here in my city.

I started a Halifax Black Hat Society and was ironing out the kinks to get started. I know a lot off Pagans who were getting annoyed with one of the other Pagan groups in town. Our group is a purely social thing. We meet for coffee, do craft swaps, Mystic movie nights and so on & so forth. There's nothing formal about it, no specific topics to discuss, we don't hold rituals, as there are a few groups who already do. We are just a bunch of like-minded witches who gather for some good times, wearing our Black Hats as we go along. We have a Facebook group if you would like to join, just email me at silverstar.row@gmail.com for an invite if you are in the HRM. Sorry, if you do not live in the city or within a few 100 kms, we can't accept you. Participation is encouraged, but not necessary for all of our activities.

So, yeah, as I mentioned above, I have a new job in a way cool salon. Back on New Year's I did a working on myself to find the right job for me. I wrote down what I was looking for in a job, my expectations of my employer, etc. One night, my mom called to let me know of a tip she had heard about a job at a beauty supply store (they sell only to hairstylists) so the next day I went with my resumes and dropped one off. The lady who was working gave me a tip about a busy salon downtown that was looking. So, I went there, too and dropped off a resume. I had an impromptu interview with the owner/manager and the job was perfect for me, exactly what I had written in my working. I started the job the next week. So, after working with the girls there for just a few weeks, I feel like I was always working there. I fit right in, there is no drama, no stress, just a cool relaxed feeling. I even converted my boss to the Twilight Saga...hee hee!!

I had a quiet Ostara this year, nothing really was done, except I planted some herbs in my new window box and I can see little shoots coming through. I was invited to go to a friend's place for a ritual, but I had my son with me that wknd and didn't know how he would be in a new place with new faces (he has autism) I also started to put out some springy things out onto my patio, whirly-gigs, a garden fairy. I just have to find where I put my patio lights when I brought them in.

Brightest of Blessings to you all
Rowan
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