A Lack of Faith??

Oh Goddess, I miss blogging!! I've been away for far too long and it's not because I didn't want to be (or my internet bill didn't get behind), I have been experiencing a HUGE struggle with my faith this past year. I think I can trace it back to about this time last year when I was depressed about not finding work. I just didn't feel like doing Sabbat rituals or workings. Then I found a job, but at the time didn't realize it was a bad choice for a job. I was working at a hair salon on straight commission, I thought if I did that it would force me to find a clientele. After 9 months working there and not making much money, I left and found a new job. But money was short, bills got left by the wayside as I struggled to get myself caught up. Because of this, my faith took a backseat. I tried to go to public rituals, feasts, but my heart wasn't in it, so I stopped going. I shut myself away from my local Pagan groups and from some Pagans who I really didn't want to associate myself with anymore. The stress of money problems, witch wars, etc, I cut myself off and focused on one thing that actually made me smile throughout all this.

When I woke up this morning, I realized that I needed to make a change in my life, my spiritual life. I'm going to practice my faith my way. Not with what books or fellow Pagans say how I should. I do things a little unconventional, not the norm and I don't add New Age things into my practice. I may not blog as much as I used to (let me get out of my funk first) but I do hope you read it when I do. I also posted today about a meditation I had last week on my Rowan's Deities page.

I'm Baaaaaack!! Miss Me??

Well, after a long hiatus, I'm back. I just hate it when life gets in the way of the important things like blogging...lol!! No, seriously, in the past 2 months there have been a lot of changes going on with me. I ended one job and moved onto another that is giving me the freedom to grow as a hairstylist. Bills were being put on the backburner as I concentrated on getting rent & groceries paid, thus, I lost the internet.

During that time without being "connected" I did a lot of soul searching (after the withdrawals went away) and decided to make some changes in my life. I am eating healthier with hardly any junk food in my diet, I've been doing yoga on the Wii every morning with my son, I meditate more to feel the connection with the Divine, I've been drinking copious amounts of water to keep hydrated, I walk to & from everywhere to keep in shape (thanks to the Gaga on my iPod) and I am surrounding my self with positive people who aren't there to bring me down.

I have also been reading a lot while my youngling plays the Wii. I ordered a book a few months back from Little Mysteries and when it came in, I devoured it. It was right up my alley in terms of how I want to practice my beliefs. It is a book by Peter Paddon called, "A Grimoire for Modern Cunningfolk" If you're not into the whole Wiccan influence of Neo-Paganism, this is a great way start to change your whole perception of the Old Ways. There's no complicated rituals, no altars to worry about, just good old fashioned Crafting. I first heard of Peter Paddon by my good friend, Cliff. I glanced at his copy of the book the last time I was up at the Hollow and ordered it when I got home, along with a book by Robin Artisson called "The Ressurection of the Meadow" Still waiting on that to come in.

And now Yule is yet again upon us. Even though Samhain is my fav. time of year, I still get all warm & fuzzy with Yule. There's something magical in the air this time of year and I'm not talking about snow. My son is all excited with all the decorations, music, etc. I've been listening to Blackmore's Night on the stereo (Winter Carols). The tree is up, the Yule log ready, baking is almost done and the lights are up in the windows & on the patio. Another reason I like this time of year...my birthday falls just after the new year and as I get older, I relish the fact I don't look older ☺

Blessings,
Rowan
)O(

New Blog Awards

Thanks to Dragonfly over at Witchery Grove for these awards!! This brightens my day, when I have limited internet use & want to update my blog. There are rules for this, like thanking the one who gave these to you (I did) and now to find 15 blogs to send these to...ok, if you want these wards for your blog, just grab them and say that you saw them here (I know, that's a cheat, but when the library internet has a time limit, I do what I have to) and I have to say 7 things about me. Ok, here goes:

1. I love the color purple
2. I am a hair-witch (hairstylist)
3. My guilty pleasure is the Twilight Saga
4. I love to read
5. I have a cat named Callie
6. Chocolate is just as good as sex, in my opinion, but both sex & chocolate together is great!!
7. I have a few close friends, but a lot of acquaintances that I talk to.
8. I love being outdoors, in nature feeling the love of the Goddess in everything around me
9. I am a Solitary witch & that's perfectly fine with me.
10. I am the mom to the GREATEST little boy in the world!!!!!!!!!