Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Something I need to get off my chest

Ok, I really don't want to go here, but I will. The other day I came across a blog where I was being trashed by a fellow Pagan. We had met in RL when I was looking for a mentor, we became friends (or so I thought) and when things started going south, we went our ways. I'm cool with that, I believe people are in our lives for either a reason, a season or a lifetime.

What bothered me was how judgemental she was in her views of me, when I was trying to learn more about the craft. I don't believe in name calling, that's reserved for the children on the playground, but when a 40-something woman feels the need to call a fellow Pagan a "Social Witch" because they're eager to learn new things, I have a problem. I didn't appreciate being called a "know-it-all", "obsessive" and whatever she deemed to call me. I didn't appreciate it when I caught her lying to me early on in our "friendship". I gave it back to her when she did it to me. It's called Karma, if she doesn't believe in it, I do. I also believe that what energy you put forth into the universe, whether it be positive or negative, it will come back to you.

She once gave me a binder full of stuff to add to my BOS. It was appreciated at first, but a lot of the things were familiar to me, so I Googled and found things word for word. She went through a lot of trouble (and paper, how Pagan is that??) to deceive me. When she would visit me, she would criticize my altar layout...most times I didn't even change anything after her last visit. Anyway, an altar is a personal reflection of your relationship with the Gods, it's not up for debate on how you have it laid out. If she was at my pc, she would grab my Pagan music & throw it on her memory stick. Isn't that called stealing?? I don't care if you make a joke of it or not, ask first before you feel free to take things. I do have to give her this, she did give me some pix to add to a folder I have, but most of the pix I already had. I know they say imitation is the best form of flattery, but when I started blogging, within the week she had her blog up. When I would add an element to it, so did she (even this week I saw some of the things I added, on hers). Can you not think of anything original?? I'm the one who does all the work going into programs to get things, or make my own. If she sees something of hers that I take from her (so she knows how it feels), I get a comment.

I know that this is starting to turn into a rant & that's not what I wanted to do. I don't want to come off as being petty, but this has been bothering me for months, she just gave me an opportunity to say my piece. I did notice, however, that after she posted her "rant" I started getting thumb-ups on my Facebook, comments to status updates, etc. Was she feeling bad about trashing me & trying to get back in my good books?? I don't know. She does have this thing about "keeping her enemies close"

One thing I never did, I never belittled her personal problems. Everytime I would talk to her, it was all about her & her stuff she was dealing with. Goddess forbid if I had something bothering me, her problems were bigger, so I stopped telling her things that were affecting me. I found another outlet to sound off my problems to, they know who they are & I thank them for all the support. So, I would talk about something that wasn't personal, like Twilight. I may have come off as obsessive about that, but that was to deflect about talking to her about my personal stuff.

Ok, this is longer than I expected, so I will sign off. Hopefully, someday, we will be friends again, but it will take a lot to regain the trust that was lost (was it even there??)'

)O( Blessed Be


Unknown said...

I'm sorry this is happening to you, that's a pretty wretched thing :( Bummer. It may be one of those situations in which you have to cut ties and move on.

Anonymous said...

Friends like that who needs enemies. Just don't dwell on it and let it hurt any future relationships.

Rowan LeBoutillier said...

I haven't let it bother me any more. I asked my Goddess for her guidance and strength.

Mother Moon said...

if "ranting" helped you then good for you... You are among friends here. It is hurtful sometimes when you think you know someone only to find out later that you weren't as clear as you thought.. Just remember the friends you truly do have... the ones that truly do have your back

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

sorry to hear this is happening to you swetie, rise above it the best you can. I hink its someting mot peole have been through I know i have and once that trust is broken it can not alwys be mended.
Big hugs to you, and emember you are among friends here, your blog is wonderful and I love coming to visit, if rantin has helped you then all the better.
Karm comes back round, she will get hers!

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